Medic...

Went to the doctor and to my surprise I picked, totally at random a gay doctor. I had to choose a primary care physican, and picked this guy completely randomly.
Once I got the HIP card I decided I better get to the doctor, on the edge of 40, smoking about a pack a day, and not knowing how much longer I can hold out at the Kingdom the sooner the better. After a series of calls back and forth to the doctors office, I get an appointment, I think it a little strange that every interaction with the office that I had was with various men. I can't ever remember going to a doctors office and seeing it completely staffed with men, but I thought nothing of it.
So I show up at the office, very nice room,almost "loungy". I go to the desk, get the forms from the guy behind the desk, how looked like my first boyfriend, I'm still not convinced that it wasn't him.
I scan the room, there are three other people, a woman sitting alone reading The Advocate, and two men sitting together, holding hands. I begin to think that this is a gay practice. I've always steered clear of gay doctors. Being gay I didn't want the kind of familarality that I thought seeing a gay doctor might bring. My doctor should be a man, old as dirt, kind of mean or matter of fact.

Anyway its my turn, I go in to see him, he is not old, my age give or take a few years, non discript looking.

Long story short, he is gay and I think its the best doctors visit that I have ever had. He was very familar yes but it didn't bother me. Very talkative a little funny, wanted to make sure that I was practicing safe sex, when I laughed and said I was practicing the safest sex possible by myself he told me I should get out more,date and get "some" (ok that was a little familar).

Madonna

I'm such a Madonna fag.
When I think about it I've always been. I remember the first time I heard a Madonna song. It was on WBLS the Frankie Crocker show. It was "Everybody". I was a Madonna fan before I knew, or I guess admitted to myself that I was a fag.
Fast forward a few decades, and I still love her. I'm listening to the new CD, over and over tring to like it. Don't get me wrong, its okay, and there are a couple of stand out tracks on it, but alas its another "American Life" a few songs you listen to once or twice and then never listen to them again.
I want this CD to do well. I want the kids to love it, I guess I don't want Madonna to fall out of favor with the masses. It doesn't have as much to do with her as it does with me. Along as she stays popular with the kids, I'm able to clutch onto my youth. But here is the rub... I'm not that in love with her music. Does she appeal to the kids and not to me does that mean that I'm too old to relate to her music? Does that mean that she is old and the kids like her today like the kids of my day (not me) went crazy for the Beatles?

Am I give to much energy to Madonna?

Manners

There is all this talk about people getting ruder, that everyone is in there own zone, so they don't have the "time" for common courtesy. I know that I am guilty of that. A perfect example, I'm walking down the street, no reason to be in a hurry, and I am so pissed off at the old people in front of me taking up the sidewalk, strolling like they had nothing to do (like myself).
Most of the time though it seems like I'm the one that is mannerly. Like when I buy cigarettes, the woman that works there is always on the phone (I always wonder who folks are talking too? I guess I'm really unpopular because my cell phone rarely rings, actually when the phone does ring I assume that its bad news or a bill collector). Even though she is on the phone, I always say please and thank you. I tried a couple of times to just say "camel lights" without the please, or pay get my change and walk out without saying thank you, or making some sort of eye contact, as not to disturb her on her call, but it just never seems right I felt bad about it and almost wanted to go back.
Sometimes when I'm on the train I feel like I should give my seat to a senior citizen. I did that once in Chicago, and the woman told me "I'm not that much older than you honey...Keep the fucking seat" I haven't done that since.